It Happened in Iowa: Part V

Opening Commentary

As previously discussed, I spent very little of my time doing actual schooling at Iowa State. The majority of my time was spent drinking and obsessively watching stand up comedy. I have seen Ari Shaffir’s Passive Aggressive so many times I can quote it in full. I even tried my own hand at stand up. Well, sort of. I went to one stand up club meeting and they were all far to bland, ordinary and normal for my taste. I was hoping to find a group of wild no fucks given degenerates. Instead I found a classroom of engineering students editing each others stand up.

Eventually, I showed up to one of the on campus open mics. Only there wasn’t an open mic because some hot shot named Whiz Khalifa decided to do karaoke that night. Lame. I did eventually make it to an open mic, by driving down to Des Moines, and like most experiences of the time, it went poorly.

This is not about the night of the open mic, but a handful of never performed jokes.


rape of the sabine women funny .png

Brief Notes in a Legal Pad

(The following was written in a class that I only vaguely remember.)

  1. Remember when you were a kid and staying up all night was such a difficult and special thing to accomplish. Then you grew up… and discovered ADDERALL!

  2. Cereal, weed, and anime - dinner of underachievers.

  3. My girlfriend was pissed at me because I cheated on her in a dream, so I told her I dreamt she was responsible for The Rape of the Sabine Women.  


Closing Commentary

Aptly named, is it not?

The next installment will go into more detail about my night of laughs in Des Moines.